If you don’t like large crowds, a big wedding is not for you. It may seem fairly straightforward, but it’s pretty astounding how few couples really allow themselves to consider having a small wedding.
It’s true that we want people to know that we love them and we want to be loved. Inviting them to our wedding seems to signify a measure of closeness. But if it doesn’t make us comfortable, then that’s silly. Because really, on your wedding day, your comfort is paramount. You’re making the most important commitments of your life. You want to feel good about doing that. If you’re going to be uncomfortable, or worse, terrified because there are too many people watching this private moment, then you need to redesign the moment.
Here’s why you might want to consider a small wedding:
- You want your wedding to be intimate: When you tell your world that you love your beloved, you want that world to be very small. You’re private people and your circle of intimates is not large. Weddings are self-revelatory. The number of people around you as you say what you have to say should not exceed the number of people that you’re comfortable discussing your love and the profound changes it has made in your life.
- You want your wedding to be more enjoyable: Smaller crowds mean you get to spend time with people. You get to sit down and talk about things that are important to you. Your wedding gets to be exactly what you want it to be because you don’t need to worry about offending Great Aunt Judy! She’s not invited!
- You want your wedding to be affordable: Small weddings cost less. You can do them at your favorite restaurant or on a boat in the bay. You can have exactly what you want because you’re only doing it for 15.
Do what you want to do for your wedding. Just because the wedding books think a good wedding size is about 200 people, doesn’t mean yours should be. Having the wedding ceremony you want, with the guests who are important to you witnessing your wedding vows is going to create a dedicated group of supporters. All marriages do better for that.
If you want to tell people you love them, invite them to a big ol’ party. Even that will save money because you won’t have to use the word wedding when you’re negotiating contracts and the price will plummet!