Category Archives: Relationships

5 Top Marriage Problems

5 Top Marriage Problems

What are the top, most common marriage problems today? Two or three probably come to mind if you think about it, but there are many, many more. What follows is a list of just some of them to point you in the right direction to finding out what marriage problems might be harming your marriage and robbing you of all the happiness you deserve.

Number one on the list has to be self-centeredness. This is the origin of so many other marriage problems. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary describes self-centeredness as “concerned solely with one’s own desires, needs, or interests”. Is it any wonder then, that this trait tops the charts at number one? When you constantly put your own desires and well-being above those of your spouse, the result is never going to be good.

Numbers two and three are the exact opposite of each other, yet they both spring from the same root cause and both elicit the same type of response. Number two is a lack of communication and number three is too much communication — not holding anything back. Either one of these habits will shut out and push your partner away.

Number two produces the response of, “You never share anything with me. You never let me into your world”. The result is a feeling of being shut out, a lack of intimacy.

Number three brings on the feeling that nobody else’s opinions mean anything because you’re always right. It sets you up as a dictator, not a partaker or participant in the marriage.

Number four has been gaining popularity for the last fifty years or so. It is addictions. Whether it’s alcohol or drugs or gambling or whatever, any addiction will serve to kill your marriage. That’s because, by its very nature, an addiction is totally self-centered, selfish and narcissistic. It cares for nothing except its own pleasure and satisfaction. It is a marriage destroyer.

When you read or hear about a marriage breaking up due to an addiction, the blame is usually put on the husband. This is a myth. Addictions are equal opportunity employers. They don’t play favorites. A wife is just as likely as her husband is to have a drug or alcohol problem or be in an affair. And statistics show that approximately sixty percent of all divorce proceedings are initiated by the wife, not the husband.

Number five of the most common marriage problems today is financial pressure. In today’s climate, finances put a massive amount of stress on a marriage. Company downsizing, the fear of being laid off, concern about whether or not there will be enough money to pay the bills all contribute to the buildup of stress in a marriage. This is even more apparent in a marriage that is already on rocky ground because of other problems.

This article has only scratched the surface of the many marriage problems that are out there. Most of these problems can be worked out with determination and perseverance. If both partners are willing to work at it and try to make the marriage better, the chances of success are vastly increased.

Breaking Up Advice – Know If Youre Making the Right Choice

Breaking Up Advice - Know If You're Making the Right Choice

You look at your significant other and you can feel things are different between the two of you. Tension has been increasing; fighting is happening more frequently; neither of you seem happy anymore nor do you feel like your relationship has anywhere else to go. You’re contemplating breaking up with someone you have shared your life with for so long but you’re not sure how. Breaking up is never easy but here is some breaking up advice that will help you know if you’re making the right choice or if your relationship just needs a little therapy to get better.

 

Reasoning

 

It is very important that if you want to break off a relationship you have sound reason. If you just want to give up you’re going to find yourself in a rut of giving up in any other relationship you get involved in. Relationships take work from both parties and if you’re just tired of putting in the time, you might want to reconsider breaking up. Any expert giving any breaking up advice would tell you that giving up a potentially good person over a rough time is a bad idea.

 

Good reasons to break off a relationship are:

– If there is any sort of abuse

– If you and your partner aren’t compatible

– If you’re giving up values you had before because your partner doesn’t agree with them

– If you and your partner have different goals in life

 

The Actual Breaking up Advice

 

If you do come to the decision to break off a relationship be sure you take into consideration all the feelings that will come from this event. You are going to be hurt and your partner is going to be hurt. There are going to be moments of anger, pleading, sorrow, depression and so many destructive emotions that both you and your partner will face. You have to make sure you have the strength to make a clean break because it is not fair to your partner if you string him/her along by giving him/her some hope that the two of you can get back together.

 

Ideally it would be fantastic if every breakup could end smoothly and you didn’t have to be mean or forceful. However, life doesn’t always ensure ideal conditions and you might have to take measures that seem a little extreme if your ex isn’t letting you go. However, you might change your mind and decide you want your ex back so it’s important that during a break up you are as nice as possible without being weak and caving in.

 

Breaking up advice might be all over the wall on what you should do, say and/or act towards someone you are going to break up with. Just remember how you would feel if the tables were turned and you were being broken up with. How would you want to be let down? That is how you’re going to have to let down your partner.

How to Get Your Ex to Come Back to You After a Breakup – You Dont Want to Miss These Secrets

How to Get Your Ex to Come Back to You After a Breakup - You Don't Want to Miss These Secrets

After that tumultuous break up with your partner, the next thing you have in mind is how to get you ex to come back to you. But the feeling of betrayal, anger, and confusion can sometimes lead to think irrationally and the last thing you want to happen is to lose your chances of getting back to your partner just because of your wrong moves.

There are things you can do to control the situation, as far as getting your ex back to you is concerned.

Think Clearly. After the break up, you might not think clearly because you are deeply affected with the situation. Think about this: you will never know how to get your ex partner back to you unless you learn how to collect your thoughts and gather your senses. The key here is to give yourself some time to think about what happened and reflect on how you can win your ex partner back.

Be Unavailable. The cliché ‘nobody needs the needy’ is absolutely true. You don’t have to immediately chase your ex partner to you could be back in each other’s arms again. Instead, give your ex partner enough time to miss you. Momentarily cut any means of communications, i.e. Internet, phone calls, or text messages.

Build a Strategy. Ideally, to get you ex to come back to you, why not try to become friends with your ex? At this point, you need to think of a fail-proof strategy that will eventually grab the attention of your ex.

There are many ways and approaches you can consider if you really wanted to get you ex partner back. All it takes is some good strategy and a whole lot of determination to finally get that love of your life back into your arms.

When Insecurities in Relationships Arise

When Insecurities in Relationships Arise

We are not perfect human beings. We all have our own imperfections, whether we realize them or not. For most part, insecurities develop when we begin to be too conscious of our own imperfections. When insecurities arise in relationships, it often leads to jealousy and worst case scenario, a break up would occur.

When people take notice of their insecurities, it makes them vulnerable and frustrated, especially if they are married. Insecurity breeds jealousy when one would compare his/her imperfections to the perfection of others. Jealousy breeds tension between a relationship and would stress both partners to the point of near or sometimes the actual break up. Breaking up because of insecurities may sound pathetic and petty but believe it or not, it does happen to most of us whether we want to or not. It may be your partner’s or your fault why they are insecure. Envy is one of the seven deadly sins, as some might say and it can be deadly to a relationship. If a boyfriend and a girlfriend would break up because of jealousy, the same thing can happen to married people. When you or your partner would feel insecure, it’s best to talk things out. Assurance is the only thing that can combat or contrast insecurities. Assurance that you’ll never leave your partner or your partner will never leave you because of your insecurities. It’s hard to deal with insecurities when you or your partner would make a fuss about it and therefore not giving both of you the chance to straighten things out.

Solving things with arguments won’t benefit your relationship. It will only lead to an uneventful break up and believe me, breaking up when things still have a chance of being fixed is pretty painful. It’s never too late to talk things out with your partner about what you feel or what he or she feels. An open communication benefits the relationship and would lead to a fruitful union to come.

Is Your Spouse Involved in an Emotional Affair and About to Cheat?

Is Your Spouse Involved in an Emotional Affair and About to Cheat?

For most people, the first indication that their spouse is cheating is a simple gut feeling. They likely haven’t seen any obvious signs that their partner is fooling around behind their back, yet they know something isn’t right. And it’s this sixth sense that can be so valuable when it comes to dealing with a cheater.

 

Long before you notice any of the classic signs of a cheating spouse, your intuition is telling you that you need to be on your guard. The reason for this is because your spouse’s personality is changing. Strangely enough, there’s not much they can do to keep this from you. In most cases, it’s impossible to “act” normal when something of this magnitude is going on. The fact that they think they’re getting away with it, gives you a bigger advantage.

 

Of course, the reason you notice these subtle changes is because you are a couple. You know your spouse’s habits, moods, and general personality better than anyone. If anything is off, no matter how insignificant, you’ll see it. You may not fully understand what’s happening, but you’ll know something’s up.

 

Trust Your Instincts

 

Whether their personal schedule has been turned upside down, or they are exhibiting wild mood swings, don’t ignore what’s happening under your nose. The sooner you’re on to them, the bigger advantage you’ll have in catching them and swiftly putting an end to it.

 

Stop The Affair Before it Starts

 

If you’re fortunate, you may be able to catch things before the affair even takes place. Like any relationship, it takes time to be intimate. There is usually a period called the, “emotional affair” which takes place first. This “flirting” stage can last for some time. However, you will definitely see a change in your spouse if you’re observant. Most often, you’ll notice unexplained bouts of happiness or depression for no apparent reason.

 

New relationships can be very emotional.

Can I Get My Girlfriend Back – First Things First

Can I Get My Girlfriend Back - First Things First

If you just came out of a relationship you might be wondering, “Can I get my girlfriend back?” The important thing is, does she feel the same way you do? Nobody likes to say they’re sorry but if you did anything to hurt her now really is the time to man up and apologize. Showing her you can admit and take responsibility for your mistakes is a big step.

Can I get my girlfriend back if I show her my more sensitive side? Sadly, when it comes to matters of the heart there isn’t a guarantee but letting her know you still care can definitely help things along. You want to be sure and let her know you’re sorry for all the pain you might have caused but take note of her reactions. If your actions upset her more you may need to take a step back and rethink your approach. Many guys make the mistake of thinking some store bought card and a dozen roses are going to fix everything. While this is a nice gesture it isn’t all that thoughtful. Try making your own card and putting in your own words how you feel or maybe pick your own flowers and build her a bouquet. It doesn’t have to be perfect as long as she gets the idea how much you care.

The good news is that couples are able to give their love a second go round as much as 90% of the time. That’s right, a whopping 90% so don’t lose heart. The above tips should help you to get your foot in the door and really that’s what is all about. She loved you for being you and if you can show her that you are still the fun wonderful guy she originally fell for you are well on your way to making your dreams a reality.

Get Your Ex Back – The Shocking Truth You Need to Know in Order to Win Back Your Ex-Lover!

Get Your Ex Back - The Shocking Truth You Need to Know in Order to Win Back Your Ex-Lover!

If you’ve suffered a break up and want to get your ex back, you need to know how to win back your ex-lover the right way.

A broken relationship can be an absolutely horrible experience. You may be feeling miserable, crying on your friends’ shoulders and pigging out on comfort food. While doing all those things can help you feel a little better in the short term, they’re not going to help you get your ex back.

If you do this for too long, your friends may get tired of hearing about the break up over and over again. They may start to think up excuses why they can’t see you because they don’t want to hurt your feelings by telling you it’s time to get over it and start looking forward.

Looking forward doesn’t mean forgetting all about your ex-lover. It can mean deciding whether you want to get back together with your ex. If you do want to reconcile, then make sure you do it for the right reasons.

The shocking truth you need to know in order win back your ex-lover is this: harassing your ex by constantly calling, texting, keeping tabs on their every move, showing up outside their house or bugging their friends isn’t going to work. If your ex was thinking of getting back together with you, this kind of behaviour can definitely spoil your chances of a reconciliation.

So what can you do to get your ex back? How about taking your time and when you’re ready to talk to them you’ll know exactly what to say.

Should You Break Up? 7 Questions to Determine Whether to Stay Or Leave a Relationship

Should You Break Up? 7 Questions to Determine Whether to Stay Or Leave a Relationship

People can be indecisive about whether to stay in a relationship or break up.  If you’re in a relationship and feel like you’re in a perpetual state of indecision – always with “one foot out the door” but never quite ready to leave – you need to determine if you should stay or go.   

Your relationship is solid if you can answer “yes” to the following questions:

  • Do you still have romantic feelings for your partner, and still find him or her attractive?
  • Are there feelings of mutual respect and admiration?
  • Do you feel that you can trust each other.  If your partner has betrayed your trust, will you be able trust him or her again in the future?
  • Are you satisfied with your relationship at least 60% of the time?
  • Does your partner have similar values to you?
  • Is your relationship free of abuse, either physical, verbal, or emotional?
  • Does your partner challenge you to be a better person, but accept and love for who you are?

If your answers are yes, try to determine what it is that’s holding you back from feeling committed to the relationship.  Do you feel that your lifestyle is compromised by staying in your relationship?  If so, in what way?  All relationships require sacrifices – are you willing to make the sacrifices required to stay with your partner?

High divorce rates seem to indicate that not everyone is cut-out for a long-term, monogamous relationship.  If you feel that you’re trying to mold yourself into someone you’re not by staying in this relationship, you may need to break up and reclaim your freedom.  At the same time, it’s easy to take all of the comforts of a relationship for granted, and only see the negative.  If your partner is a source of great comfort, companionship and love, reflect on how much value that adds to your life. 

I once met an elderly woman who turned her back on her college sweetheart to live independently, and she regretted it: A similar love never found her again. Everyone feels pains of unease sometimes in relationships, especially when they meet an attractive stranger and suddenly have the strong desire to be single.  Just remember: That stranger probably wouldn’t understand you like your partner does, or provide the same level of comfort and companionship. 

That said, if you have the feeling that you’re staying in the relationship only for your partner’s sake, I highly recommend you break up.  You’re not doing your partner a favor by staying – he or she deserves someone who wants to be with them.  You should not stay with someone simply because you feel too guilty to leave, or because your partner “needs you.”  A relationship is a choice for both people involved – you’re never truly trapped in a relationship.

However, some people do feel trapped.  For men feeling stuck in unhealthy or unwanted relationships, see my manual on how to leave. Because so many women need help too, I hope to have a version aimed specifically at females in the future. 

How to Heal a Broken Heart – Simple Steps

How to Heal a Broken Heart - Simple Steps

If you have just broken up you are going to have to learn how to heal a broken heart. The first thing you should realise is that this is all normal. How you feel right now is completely normal and you should be proud of yourself that you are healthy person who is in touch with their emotions and vulnerabilities as a human being, those who pretend not to care are often the most insecure.

 This article is designed to give you some tips on how to heal a broken heart and deal with the early stages of the break up. They should be used even if you want to get back together as chasing after your ex and putting pressure on them will not work.

 Do what you need to do to get through the first few days, if you feel like crying then do it. If you feel like you can’t handle the office then call in sick. You don’t want to do this for ever and 1 day off should be the most.

  • Use your friends and family in your time of need who also know heart break through their own experiences. You may feel like you’re the only person in the world with this problem but the truth is far from it.
  • Don’t become a recluse or go into hiding, go for coffee, take long walks and exercise. This will increase endorphins in the body, the natural happy hormone.
  • Express your emotions through a journal, painting or music.
  • Taking a trip out of town as a new environment with less memories of your ex attached.
  • Pamper and spoil yourself by doing fun things you enjoy be it a spa weekend or a golf trip.
  • Eventually you may need to force yourself into dating, try your best to do this and you may quickly find there are others you are just as if not more attracted to than your ex.

Getting over someone is never easy discovering how to heal a broken heart will take time but you can get there. For more info on how to heal a broken heart visit Make-up-Not-Break-up.com here: How to Heal a Broken Heart [http://make-up-not-break-up.com/how-to-heal-a-broken-heart]

Dirty Talking – Different Moods, Different Expressions

Dirty Talking - Different Moods, Different Expressions

If you think that dirty talking should be used only during a certain part of lovemaking, you are missing the point entirely! You can use dirty talking to express different moods and fit all kinds of different situations in your day.

Dirty talking is definitely a way of expressing lust; but lust doesn’t begin and end in the bedroom. When you take it outside, in fact, it becomes all the more exciting.

Make Him Imagine It!

When you talk dirty to your man, you are feeding more of his senses as well as stirring up his imagination.

Men may not be very imaginative creatures, but they can visualize things really well in 3D. So once you put in an idea into his head and fill in the details, he is going to be intoxicated by a very powerful image of what you are saying to him. He will be able to see it in great detail.

The anticipation of what will happen next can be a powerful aphrodisiac. You should use this little fact to good effect.

Work that for all it’s worth… You can use dirty talk to just flirt or tease. Or you can use it to be down right wanton with him; the choice is yours.

Tips For Different Ways Of Dirty Talking:

#1.) Text or mail him erotica to tease him when he is away from you. You can use it to arouse him at a very low level, or you can get him desperate. It only depends on what you say and how you say it.

#2.) If he is at home and you are going to be out, write out erotic little love notes and leave them where he can find it and be surprised. It will make him long for you to get back to him.

#3.) Flirt with him in public by saying something unexpectedly lustful so only he can hear.

#4.) When you are with friends, use double entendre to get his juices flowing.

#5.) It is the tone of your voice and the look in your eye that is going to make the real intent, of a seemingly innocent message, clear to him.

#6.) Just the fact that you are saying something dirty in public, where you could be overheard, could be a serious turn on. That hint of danger can make dirty talk even more appealing.

As Wanton As You Want!

Dirty talking to make you seem absolutely wanton, of course, means “No Holds Barred”!!!

For this, you don’t need to be thinking. When the level of excitement is high, thinking can be a real kill joy. Any sounds you make or words you use in bed are intensely exciting to your man.

All you have to do is let it flow with your mood. Express yourself and enjoy doing it!