What are the top, most common marriage problems today? Two or three probably come to mind if you think about it, but there are many, many more. What follows is a list of just some of them to point you in the right direction to finding out what marriage problems might be harming your marriage and robbing you of all the happiness you deserve.
Number one on the list has to be self-centeredness. This is the origin of so many other marriage problems. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary describes self-centeredness as “concerned solely with one’s own desires, needs, or interests”. Is it any wonder then, that this trait tops the charts at number one? When you constantly put your own desires and well-being above those of your spouse, the result is never going to be good.
Numbers two and three are the exact opposite of each other, yet they both spring from the same root cause and both elicit the same type of response. Number two is a lack of communication and number three is too much communication — not holding anything back. Either one of these habits will shut out and push your partner away.
Number two produces the response of, “You never share anything with me. You never let me into your world”. The result is a feeling of being shut out, a lack of intimacy.
Number three brings on the feeling that nobody else’s opinions mean anything because you’re always right. It sets you up as a dictator, not a partaker or participant in the marriage.
Number four has been gaining popularity for the last fifty years or so. It is addictions. Whether it’s alcohol or drugs or gambling or whatever, any addiction will serve to kill your marriage. That’s because, by its very nature, an addiction is totally self-centered, selfish and narcissistic. It cares for nothing except its own pleasure and satisfaction. It is a marriage destroyer.
When you read or hear about a marriage breaking up due to an addiction, the blame is usually put on the husband. This is a myth. Addictions are equal opportunity employers. They don’t play favorites. A wife is just as likely as her husband is to have a drug or alcohol problem or be in an affair. And statistics show that approximately sixty percent of all divorce proceedings are initiated by the wife, not the husband.
Number five of the most common marriage problems today is financial pressure. In today’s climate, finances put a massive amount of stress on a marriage. Company downsizing, the fear of being laid off, concern about whether or not there will be enough money to pay the bills all contribute to the buildup of stress in a marriage. This is even more apparent in a marriage that is already on rocky ground because of other problems.
This article has only scratched the surface of the many marriage problems that are out there. Most of these problems can be worked out with determination and perseverance. If both partners are willing to work at it and try to make the marriage better, the chances of success are vastly increased.